A Christmas Eve Theory floated by DS1


First let me just say that I am very skeptical about the how genuine DS1’s apparent enduring belief in Santa is.  Not only for the fact that he is going to be 10 but, also, the boy is a very very logical thinker.  I think this belief has been (intentially, by me) shored up a bit by Santa’s habit of bringing him presents that I have made very clear *I* won’t be getting him.

So, anyway, just now he’s getting in the shower and he likes me to sit in there.  So, he starts on this great long and detailed explanation of how this could possibly work.  Most likely, this has been sparked in his ever-busy brain by us having a laptop on the live Santa tracking all afternoon.

In a nutshell, this is his theory.  He is able to go fast enough becuase the reindeer actually have a special sort of engine they’ve invented that is powered by light and when the light shoots out the back it propels the vehicle (or reindeer) forward at the speed of light.  It is possible, he notes, that there are also mirrors involved in order to get the needed forward motion.  Then, in order to make all the stops (and to avoid having to devise a braking system that could make so many frequent stops from lightspeed to stopped) he doesn’t actually stop.  He’s got a special beacon that he picks up and aims at the house.  The magic Santa key (which we hang on the front door) only responds to this beam (and only Santa has one).  when the beam hits the key, it doesn’t actually open the front door.  It slides open a secret panel in the roof of the house at which point Santa shoots the present out of his special launcher.  The presents are, of course, equipped with parachutes so that nothing is broken during flight and landing).  Then before the super secret Santa roof panel closes back up, he uses a tractor beam (which he knows exist because “the Chrono-Legionaires have them”.  What are Chron0-Legionaires, you ask?  Well, they are soldiers in Command and Conquer, of course) to instantly transport those cookies right up into his hot little hands.

Another flash of the beam and the roof is closed up and off he goes.

So.  Now you know how he manages to get so much done in one night.  Easy peasy lemon squeezy – like most things in life, having the right gadgets for the job makes all the difference. (<- that last bit is mine, not his.  I’m a big fan of gadgets.  I think I can live without a tractor beamer, though.  Or maybe not – it could be useful, say, when we are late for school when a child realizes he doesn’t have his shoes / homework / backpack / project / whatever.)


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