We have recently instituted a more defined set of chores the boys are responsible for. This household re-engineering came with a totally awesome (if I do say so myself), custom chore chart they get to use dry-erase pens on (they have an inexplicable attraction to dry erase pens. Come to think of it, so do I). So, the chore chart worked fabulously to get the least motivated among my offpsring – that would be DS2 – on board. Of course, predictably, even the novelty of the dry-erase pen wore off before long.
As it did, DS2 came up with the latest all-purpose excuse when he doesn’t want to do some little job he’s supposed to do. “My feet don’t want to walk that way.” I find this placing of blame on specific body parts quite amusing, actually. DS1 used to place a lot of blame on his stomach – as though it were an entirely separate entity with a mind of its own over which he had no control. With DS2 it is feet, though. Convenient in its ability to be universally applied since pretty much anything requires moving from where you are to wherever you need to be / go to do whatever it is you’re attempting to avoid.
So, the other day I ask DS2 to take his dishes to the sink. He is standing about 10 steps from the table. Right on cue we get “But my feet don’t want to walk that way”. DS1, who continues to operate intermittently under the impression that he is vice-parent in this house jumps in with a solution. He promptly goes over and gets down by the renegade feet attached to DS2 and says which way do they need to go. DS2 grins and points to the table. DS1 starts “typing” on DS2’s toes and says in a measured pace as though he is typing it as he says it “turn around. walk to table, pick up dishes (presumably this was not intended to be done by his feet – perhaps this is the input center for the hands, also?) walk to sink”. Then he pushes an imaginary button on one of DS2’s feet and voila – DS2’s feet are now on board with the requested task and off he goes.
Now there’s a programming language well worth learning.